Please don’t move to Florida

I’ve written this blog for 14 years. My most recent post, which featured an AI-generated song about my hard-to-pronounce hometown, was my most widely-read post ever. Thanks to long-time readers who shared it, it’s has been heard by thousands of people in the USA, Ireland, Iraq, China and Australia. That makes me happy. Thank you.

So I’ve created another song — one that’s altogether different — to address Florida’s immigration problem. As you may know, thousands of northerners have already moved to the Sunshine State, to escape their states’ wintry weather, high income taxes and left-wing politicians, and many more are threatening to.

I want these would-be Floridians to stay the hell away. If you’re a northerner who wants a vacation? Sure, come on down. Then go back home. You want to move here? Don’t even think about it. Unlike the miserable state you are desperate to flee, Florida actually works. A massive influx of new residents threatens to overwhelm our highways, schools, hospitals and social service resources, and send housing costs, which exploded during the pandemic but have subsided somewhat, back into the stratosphere. 

“Please Don’t Come to Florida” was written as a public service to warn northerners of a few of the many, many dangers they’ll face in Florida, and (hopefully) scare them away. I co-wrote it with my witty personal assistant, Google Gemini AI, whose chorus lyrics were way better than mine.. Once the lyrics were finished, I instructed my musical AI, suno.com, to compose and orchestrate the music in the style of a 1950s upbeat, bouncy tv commercial jingle, sung by a female. Within two minutes, I had two versions. The one below is my favorite.

Enjoy … and please share this post with your friends. It was gratifying to see how many people read my blog and listened to my first-ever song. I hope this one is an even bigger hit, and that it makes you smile. Maybe even laugh.